25 weeks & nesting

So today is February 3rd: my mother-in-law's _th birthday, the day after Groundhog's Day, and the sixth week in a row I have not worked. We called my mother-in-law, Kathy, to wish her well on her birthday, and it looks like Punxsutawney Phil is forecasting an early spring. But the forecast on my work doesn't look good. It took me the better part of January to communicate with my employer, ManorCare (the geriatric facility where I've worked for 2 years as a CNA), about my new work restrictions due to my pregnancy. Technically, I could still do my job as a CNA...only with alot more risk involved. I was given a list of work guidelines from my midwife in regards to bending/stooping and lifting and, according to strict interpretation of these guidelines and what my job requires of me on a daily basis, I am alot more limited in what I can do after 20 weeks- which I reached on Dec. 20th. My midwife and I wrote a letter together to my employer informing them of my new restrictions after 20 weeks. According to my midwife, many women she provides prenatal care for follow the work guideline sheet (the same one I was given) much more loosely, in the interest that they will be able to earn a paycheck longer until maternity leave. The management at ManorCare has really dragged their feet in communicating to me, sending me to talk to this person and that until I finally connected (after leaving a couple of voice messages) with the right people. I am technically an on-call aid, meaning I let ManorCare know my availability and they call me (even when I am not available) to ask me if I can work. Since I went on-call last July while continuing to go to school part time, it's worked out to be about 3 shifts a week. Now that I have more restrictions due to my pregnancy, they haven't called me once in the past several weeks. "We'd prefer a CNA who can do all the regular requirements of the job", they tell me. I'm still available to do light duty, clerical work, or escorts with patients to doctor appts! There's no reason I shouldn't be called! Things tend to wax and wane economically for ManorCare too, it seems. They can only justify a light duty aid or help with clerical work sometimes, and, unfortunately for me, this season looks like it's one of them.

So this means between studying A & P, running errands, cleaning house, exercising at the Y, and intermittent coffee dates with friends, I have been spending plenty of quality time with me, myself, and I for the past several weeks. My days are largely unstructured. I have class Monday and Wednesday nights and make sure I stay on top of my schoolwork (but sometimes I have to muster the discipline to memorize every vein and artery in the body). Joe is teaching school or lessons after school 5 days a week and doesn't get home until about 5:30 each night. On the nights I don't have class, I don't want to study; I want to spend time with my husband because I've been so lonely during the day. At first, it was nice to be able to get more than enough sleep and have ample time to exercise and study. Now, I feel that I need an outside force to implement discipline and structure in my daily life so I actually feel like I am doing something worthwhile each day. It's completely up to me to structure my days. At first, I enjoyed this new challenge. Now, it's driving me crazy at times!

My house has never be cleaner. The laundry has never been finished as quickly on Fridays. And I have definitely started nesting. I have turned our home into Operation Welcome Baby Lindquist. I have gutted the closets in our home and purged them of all superfluous paraphernalia to make room for the onslaught of baby goods I hear new mothers receive as gifts from showers and bring home from repeated pilgrimages to Target and Babies R Us. (I even organized my linen closet within an inch of its life.) We received the crib via UPS from my generous mother-in-law about 2 weeks ago, but due to a manufacturing error, we were unable to complete the task of assembling it. We sold our queen-sized guest bed on craigslist. I am even doing those acrimonious tasks we all avoid, like deleting old emails from my inbox (about 500 in all). I organized several hundred of my photos, many of which date back to high school and early college, into photo albums at night while I watched TV.

Sometimes, on Sunday nights, I get especially sad Joe has to head back to work the next day. Last week I was close to tears because I didn't want to face another week of loneliness. When he comes home, I am so happy that I don't have to be alone anymore that day that I don't always make time to study, even though I really should.

Speaking of A & P, I am one of two pregnant women in my class. Our instructor, Mel, likes to make examples of us from time to time. (Studying embryology at the end of the quarter should be interesting.) Like how we should avoid sleeping on our back because the baby will be pressing against the vena cava, the vein that sends blood to the heart. Depending on how big baby is and how long baby is resting on the vein, the blood flow could be impeded. So it is in the best interest of mom to sleep on her side. The other expectant mom in my class is due at the end of March, two weeks after our final, and I am crossing my fingers she makes it until then without going into labor. My lab partner Trish says she is living vicariously through me because she is not a mom and continually peppers me with questions. Although it's just daily life to me, everything from my growing belly to how I'm feeling during my pregnancy is fascinating to her.