14 weeks

Well, actually, I'm not quite 14 weeks (on Monday I will be). We kind of missed a 13 week shot last Monday. Mondays aren't really good days for us to coordinate taking a picture anyway because we are like two ships passing in the night: Joe gets home from school at 5:00 and I have to leave for class at 5:30 and from 5:00 to 5:30, we shovel in some dinner and then Joe teaches a guitar lesson at 5:30. I don't get home til almost 10pm and Joe is asleep by then. Then I usually get sucked into the week: I balance studying for A & P with working 3 days a week and doing the majority of the housework and things like that. So, sometimes this weekly blog that I promised (to all three of my blog followers) with such high hopes to post gets pushed to the back burner until we find ourselves sitting here on the couch on Saturday night watching a movie and I finally decide to blog.

We have been debating lately on whether or not we will baptize our child as a baby or wait until "they are at the age of accountability" (meaning they can cognitively recognize their need for a saving relationship with Jesus and would like to confirm this through baptism). We both were raised Lutheran; Joe was raised ELCA and I was raised LCMS. I was baptized as an infant in the Lutheran church and Joe was baptized in the Covenant church, but, as I stated before, raised Lutheran. I would like to have our child baptized as an infant and Joe says he is "in process" about the whole matter. Basically, what would the purpose be in baptizing now or later on? Last Thursday, we talked to the lead pastor of the church we are attending currently, Lighthouse Christian Center in Puyallup. Joe asked me three times whether I would like to visit with Pastor Art to discuss why Lighthouse believes what they do regarding baptism. I really wasn't that interested in going but finally consented because he really wanted to go. Ostensibly, our goal was to have him clarify why Lighthouse practices baby dedications as opposed to infant baptism. (They also practice "believer baptism" in which someone, who would like to declare their belief and faith in Jesus, gets baptized as an expression of this.) The pastor, who has his doctorate in theology, first asked why we believe in infant baptism. I informed him why: something to the effect that God initiates a relationship with us before we are even cognizant of our need for Him, just like a parent-baby relationship. Hence, infant baptism is a reflection of this. Joe, who is more on the fence in regards to this matter, said something neutral and theologically objective. (He enjoys picking people's brains just for the purpose of discussing theology objectively. I have a much harder time discussing theology objectively because my faith is so deeply ingrained in who I am.) Basically, the pastor politely listened to both of our thoughts and then proceeded to tell us not only why he believed in believer baptism but also why we, or rather I (because I was the stronger proponent for infant baptism), was wrong. Infant baptism seems to benefit the parents more than the child, he said, because it is really the parents who are initiating baptism for the child and not the child who is proclaiming faith in Jesus. But the parents are opening the door for the Holy Spirit to come in and be active in this child's life before the child can even advocate for themselves, just like Jesus was the intermediary between God and man, I said. I really got the impression that although the pastor was polite enough to listen to our opinions and reasoning, he felt their was nothing new he could learn from us, especially me, because his mind was already made up. I was wrong. WRONG. Believer baptism is the way to go, infant baptism is "not morally wrong, but still bad theology." (Neither Joe or I can make sense of that; seems as though that's a fine hair to split.)

I truly tried (and succeeded for the most part I think) in keeping my mouth shut to avoid saying something I really regretted and to listen to Pastor Art to see if their was anything worthwhile I could glean from what he had to say. It was very difficult to sit there in the pastor's office: hurt, embarrassed, and angry, and trying my hardest to keep it together while being singled out for what I believe about infant baptism.

There's still so much to write about this, but I've sketched a rough picture. We're still undecided about whether or not we'll have our child baptized as an infant. Sometimes it seems easier just to find a Lutheran church somewhere and become members because it's just like home. But the reason we started attending Lighthouse was because we are good friends with John and Gabri, who attend there, and because it's just hard to meet people close to our own age in a Lutheran church around where we live because it seems as though all the young people flock to the more charismatic, evangelical churches. If we want to get connected with people our own age, we have to go to where they are going. Sometimes it seems like too great of a leap of faith to trust God in terms of providing fellowship for us at church.