16 weeks

Ok, so not the greatest pregnant shot. I really thought it would turn out better because I was wearing a loose fitting dress that I could hold up against my belly to show it off, but I think the black threw it off. (That and the fact that our camera SUCKS.) As I've admitted before, I never had the flattest belly to begin this pregnancy with and honestly, by this point in my pregnancy, I thought people would think I was further along than I actually was. However, I haven't gained ANY weight. I've actually lost about 2 pounds, according to my weigh in during my last mid-wife visit. I really should be gaining about 1-1 1/2 pounds per week from now until baby makes their grand entrance, according to most maternity sites. But I know my body and my body loves to pack on the pounds easily so I am really not worried about weight gain in the coming weeks.

In mid-November, I went to the neurologist per my mid-wife's recommendation to clarify whether or not it would be in my best interest to give birth naturally or have a C-section. You see, 6 years ago, I had a brain hemorrhage on my left cerebellum (ultimately diagnosed as a sporadic cavernoma.) Basically, I was born with capillaries in my cerebellum that, throughout my juvenile brain development, never quite formed the way they should that would encourage normal blood flow and neurological function. (They discovered that my sporadic cavernoma was not congenital, meaning my family would not all have to go in for an MRI to see if they were at risk too.) So, capillaries on my left cerebellum never quite formed properly, impairing my coordination throughout my life. When the neurologist told me this, it finally dawned on my why I've never particularly been drawn to playing sports (in fact, if you want to torture me, make me play basketball) and I've always been somewhat clumsy throughout my life: the blood clot slowly forming was impeding on the cerebellum's job of coordinating the body's movements. I was asymptomatic throughout my life until age 22 when my cerebellum decided enough was enough and my neural functions in my brain could not work around the blood clot anymore. In December 2004, at age 22, I began having severe stroke-like symptoms: my left arm was tucked into my side, slurred speech, extremely poor mobility, etc. Every year of my life, the blood clot was a threat and it took almost 23 years for me to present stroke-like symptoms (about a 1-2% chance per year), when I was effectively done with juvenile neural development. After a 2 week stint in ICU, neurosurgery removing the clot, and 4 months of occupational and physical therapy, I was technically "done" rehabing and, timidly "started my life over again" mentally, physically, and financially.

Throughout my illness and rehab, I never gave whether or not I'd be able to bear children naturally a second thought. I always thought I would be able to have natural births. That is, until my mid-wife suggested that my pregnancy might not be low-risk enough to continue my pre-natal care with her; I might need to switch to an OB-GYN. She basically was concerned about adverse effects of me pushing during labor- are my cranial arteries, capillaries, etc. capable of handling that much pressure? Was I at risk for another sporadic caveroma or other neurological disfunction? She wanted a neurologist to verify this. Thank the Lord, the neurologist said no. I'll be following up with the neurologist in about 10 days and I've got some questions on my mind to ask her. Right now, all I know is I am grateful that I will be able to deliver our baby naturally. It really is an answer to prayer.

15 weeks

Tomorrow we leave to drive south to Hillsboro to my parents' house for Thanksgiving. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate with us on the 2.5 hour journey. (ps- I am loving the expectant mother's parking at Metropolitan Market. I used to park there when I wasn't expecting if I couldn't find any other parking available, just really quick if I needed to run in and grab something. Now, I park there guilt-free :)









Our camera really does have to go. Last Saturday, when we decorated the Christmas tree and hung the stockings on the mantel, we took the 15 week shot of me. I am really starting to detest our camera's poor picture-taking abilities.

Hello second trimester!

When I uploaded this picture on my computer this morning, I noticed that I finally look pregnant. (14 weeks!) Unless I've told them I'm expecting, no one has really noticed that I'm pregnant. On all those pregnancy blogs, they say the first trimester you just look like "you've eaten a really big lunch", hence the bigger abdomen. Now I am entering my "pouchy" phase, in which I really will need to start shopping in the prego section of Target and kiss my pre-pregnancy jeans goodbye. However, even before I learned I was expecting, I dedicated myself to getting some good cardio in 3-4 times a week and have kept up this habit throughout my pregnancy thus so far. As a result, I have not gained any weight in my first trimester. My weight seems to be redistributing from my thighs to my abdomen. (Knock on wood...)

14 weeks

Well, actually, I'm not quite 14 weeks (on Monday I will be). We kind of missed a 13 week shot last Monday. Mondays aren't really good days for us to coordinate taking a picture anyway because we are like two ships passing in the night: Joe gets home from school at 5:00 and I have to leave for class at 5:30 and from 5:00 to 5:30, we shovel in some dinner and then Joe teaches a guitar lesson at 5:30. I don't get home til almost 10pm and Joe is asleep by then. Then I usually get sucked into the week: I balance studying for A & P with working 3 days a week and doing the majority of the housework and things like that. So, sometimes this weekly blog that I promised (to all three of my blog followers) with such high hopes to post gets pushed to the back burner until we find ourselves sitting here on the couch on Saturday night watching a movie and I finally decide to blog.

We have been debating lately on whether or not we will baptize our child as a baby or wait until "they are at the age of accountability" (meaning they can cognitively recognize their need for a saving relationship with Jesus and would like to confirm this through baptism). We both were raised Lutheran; Joe was raised ELCA and I was raised LCMS. I was baptized as an infant in the Lutheran church and Joe was baptized in the Covenant church, but, as I stated before, raised Lutheran. I would like to have our child baptized as an infant and Joe says he is "in process" about the whole matter. Basically, what would the purpose be in baptizing now or later on? Last Thursday, we talked to the lead pastor of the church we are attending currently, Lighthouse Christian Center in Puyallup. Joe asked me three times whether I would like to visit with Pastor Art to discuss why Lighthouse believes what they do regarding baptism. I really wasn't that interested in going but finally consented because he really wanted to go. Ostensibly, our goal was to have him clarify why Lighthouse practices baby dedications as opposed to infant baptism. (They also practice "believer baptism" in which someone, who would like to declare their belief and faith in Jesus, gets baptized as an expression of this.) The pastor, who has his doctorate in theology, first asked why we believe in infant baptism. I informed him why: something to the effect that God initiates a relationship with us before we are even cognizant of our need for Him, just like a parent-baby relationship. Hence, infant baptism is a reflection of this. Joe, who is more on the fence in regards to this matter, said something neutral and theologically objective. (He enjoys picking people's brains just for the purpose of discussing theology objectively. I have a much harder time discussing theology objectively because my faith is so deeply ingrained in who I am.) Basically, the pastor politely listened to both of our thoughts and then proceeded to tell us not only why he believed in believer baptism but also why we, or rather I (because I was the stronger proponent for infant baptism), was wrong. Infant baptism seems to benefit the parents more than the child, he said, because it is really the parents who are initiating baptism for the child and not the child who is proclaiming faith in Jesus. But the parents are opening the door for the Holy Spirit to come in and be active in this child's life before the child can even advocate for themselves, just like Jesus was the intermediary between God and man, I said. I really got the impression that although the pastor was polite enough to listen to our opinions and reasoning, he felt their was nothing new he could learn from us, especially me, because his mind was already made up. I was wrong. WRONG. Believer baptism is the way to go, infant baptism is "not morally wrong, but still bad theology." (Neither Joe or I can make sense of that; seems as though that's a fine hair to split.)

I truly tried (and succeeded for the most part I think) in keeping my mouth shut to avoid saying something I really regretted and to listen to Pastor Art to see if their was anything worthwhile I could glean from what he had to say. It was very difficult to sit there in the pastor's office: hurt, embarrassed, and angry, and trying my hardest to keep it together while being singled out for what I believe about infant baptism.

There's still so much to write about this, but I've sketched a rough picture. We're still undecided about whether or not we'll have our child baptized as an infant. Sometimes it seems easier just to find a Lutheran church somewhere and become members because it's just like home. But the reason we started attending Lighthouse was because we are good friends with John and Gabri, who attend there, and because it's just hard to meet people close to our own age in a Lutheran church around where we live because it seems as though all the young people flock to the more charismatic, evangelical churches. If we want to get connected with people our own age, we have to go to where they are going. Sometimes it seems like too great of a leap of faith to trust God in terms of providing fellowship for us at church.

12 weeks

Today I am 12 weeks and 1 day. I figured out part of the reason why I am so tired: baby grows about 1/2 inch a week. As you can see, my belly is rounder on my lower abdomen (and it is growing firmer day by day).



I never thought I'd be so excited about my tummy getting bigger.

I am thinking ahead to the time (probably around Thanksgiving) that we'll be registering for baby things. Honestly, I have no idea (other that the obvious crib, baby carrier, high chair, and onesies) what to register for. Please advise. I only have one friend, Sondra, who is a mother. I wish she lived closer (she lives in Utah). Other than her, I have no friends or siblings who are already parents or currently expecting. Since we are not going to find out the sex of our baby, we need to get an idea of how this works in terms of registering for baby things. Do we register for unisex items or a bunch of girl items AND boy items and then take back what we do not need after his/her arrival??

ps- we never did get around to taking the 11 week pic and by the time we might have, I was about 11 weeks, 5 days... so we just let it go. I think my tummy is really going to poke out faster and faster as the weeks go by. (so I really don't think we're missing much by skipping the 11 week shot.)