Waiting...

Ironic that the day I received word from the nursing program I applied to was the same day I read the 16th chapter of Proverbs. There are more than a few verses in this chapter that talk about committing one's plans to the Lord.

"All a man's ways seem innocent to him,
but motives are weighed by the Lord" - 16:2

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed." - 16:3

"In his heart a man plans his course,
but the Lord determines his steps." - 16:9

Allow me to explain...

Last October, as Joe was on his way out the door to work one morning, we were discussing nursing schools, a frequent topic of discussion in our household. I've been one (or two) classes at a time at a community college since summer 2009, gradually chipping away at my nursing prereqs. Certain programs require some courses that others do not (for example organic chemistry or statistics or sociology). So, each quarter I carefully calculated how long it would take me to plow through my pre-reqs before being eligible to apply to the programs that appealed to me. I prayed that the programs I was supposed to apply to would be made clear to me. I would rewrite my goals every so often, as the specific nursing degree I wanted to pursue became more and more clear. Gradually, I came to decision that the best degree for me would be a Bachelor's in Nursing. Besides a Master's, a Bachelor's really is the best all-around degree to have as a nurse. But I digress...last October, as Joe headed out the door to work that morning, he suggested I look at Concordia College, Moorhead, MN. Concordia? Hmmm...I'd already inquired of a few friends of my sister-in-law Annie (who are either in medical school or nursing) about nursing schools out in MN. We came to the conclusion that we might have to go to great lengths to complete my education, including a cross country move. Out of curiosity, I looked at their website.

You know that giddy feeling you have when you can picture things finally working out?

I had it when I looked at Concordia's accelerated post-bacc program in nursing. It was uncanny. This could work out, I thought, skimming over the program basics. Program has a May start which means Sonja and I would have to fly out to Fargo, stay with my in-laws, my mother-in- law could watch Sonja while I was in class, we could fly back to Tacoma in June, pack up our lives, and drive back out to Fargo with Joe at the end of June. Maybe we could even live temporarily in the basement at Joe's parents' house? As of October, I had all but two pre-reqs finished and I could easily take those winter quarter. I almost couldn't wait for Joe to come home to alert him of this news. When I told him of my far-fetched, but feasible plan, I could see the wheels start to turn in his head. We skyped with Kathy and Paul soon after that. They graciously consented to all of the above, bless their hearts. I think the prospect of seeing their granddaughter everyday was enticing!

The next step was to wait until December when application materials became available on Concordia's website. I had been praying for the right people to come along on my life's path to do my recommendations, for the words to write for an admissions essay, for things to perfectly line up. I finished my application two weeks early and submitted it at the beginning of February.

The next step was to wait about 6-8 weeks for Concordia to reply back. It hasn't been easy living on pins and needles for several weeks, anticipating a letter that would change all our lives. That letter arrived on March 16, a Thursday. Joe had left for a music educator's conference earlier that day and I'd promised him that if the letter arrived while he was gone, I'd wait til Saturday when he came back home to open it. But when I opened the mailbox last Thursday, I knew I couldn't not know for two more days. I called Joe, and we arranged for a time after my class and when he could break away from the conference for me to open it.

"We sincerely appreciate your interest in applying to our accelerated nursing major at Concordia College. Due to a greater number of qualified applicants to the program than we are able to accept we are unable to admit you into the cohort at this time. However, you have been ranked as an alternate for the May 2012 entering class..."

Alternate? I never thought of the possibility of being an alternate. By mid-March, I thought our lives were coming to a fork in the road: yes, I would be going to Concordia or no, I wouldn't be going to Concordia and had better begin working on Plan B pronto. We waited all this time only to be told...wait longer! %$!!@?^%$#! This wasn't supposed to happen! We actually got our hopes up a little. I felt good about my application; the only items I lacked were the last two pre-reqs of sociology and a math class. Concordia only admits 10 per year in their accelerated cohort. I have a feeling it was most likely the fact that I am just finishing up my last two classes that counted against my application. I could apply next year... I could start looking at other potential programs... or, I could wait for that wonderful letter to come in the mail in April offering acceptance into the program. I simply don't have the heart to look at other programs right now.

Alternate status is requiring us to have more faith than ever. We are on pins and needles with expectation...