41 weeks

Wow. Did I just type that? 41 weeks. Yep.

We went to have a non-stress test done yesterday and, praise God, everything is going just fine with the baby. The goal with the non-stress tests are to prove that baby is, indeed, not stressed out, and if he/she is, then it would indicate inducing labor may be immanent or a C-section may be necessary. They hooked me up to two monitors strapped around my belly.



The machine the monitors were strapped to printed out this information.




In the lower picture, the squiggly line nearest to you is the baby's heartrate (ideal heartrate is about 120 to 160). The more sporadic black marks are when I felt any type of fetal movement. (I was given a button to press every time I felt the slightest movement.) The graph farthest away (bottom) tracked my uterine contractions. Often times, the baby is sound asleep and the technician has to wake him/her up to get an accurate test. They do this by administering gentle soundwaves to the mommy's tummy or giving mom juice so the glucose can reach the baby to stir him/her. Our baby was wide awake and ready to rumble. We listened to the heartbeat for about 40 minutes before they unhooked me and established that our baby was fine and dandy, getting good oxygen supply, and had a healthy heartrate. The only thing is that he/she is not ready to come out yet. Apparently, it just too snug and warm.

After the NST, we visited the midwife. She examined me and determined I am 2cm dilated and 80% effaced. She determined that my body is ready to be induced. We decided on a Wednesday, May 25th induction date. Now, induction is the last thing I really wanted to consider in regards to bringing our child in the world. (Actually, C-sections are, to be honest.) But as of the afternoon on Friday, May 20st, my body just wasn't going into labor. My midwife wanted to at least schedule an induction for sometime next week, while still giving my body a chance to go into labor. Past 42 weeks, the mother and baby incur risks. The placenta is a temporary organ the body makes to support fetal growth and development. By 42 weeks, it is starting to wear out because it was only made to be utilized for so long; the baby may not even get proper oxygen supply after 42 weeks either. Hence, a favorable time to induce is about 41 1/2 weeks. It feels very strange to almost play God in helping determine when our child will be born. As my mother and my grandmothers all had natural labors, I assumed genetics would be on my side and we would already be parents by now. Alas, if nothing happens by May 25th, I will be induced. I feel ashamed on one hand because my body doesn't do anything more these days than manufacture Braxton Hicks contractions; I really wanted to feel like I was in control of my body or that my body was "doing what God designed women's bodies to do: labor." But on the other hand, we have lived the whole 9th month and now into the 10th month waiting for me to go into labor, and with every day that passes, knowing that control must be relinquished to God's timing, because only He knows what day and time our baby will arrive. It's really their little secret right now. In addition, it is a relief to have a closure date on the horizon. We will call early in the morning on May 25th to see when the best time for us to come in will be. They will give me up to 3 doses of Cytotec to induce me in 9 hours, 1 every 3 hours. At the end of 9 hours, they will break my water depending on how my body takes to the Cytotec or they will send me home for a few days to let me go into labor naturally. If I don't go into labor naturally after a few days, they'll induce me again, this time potentially with Pitocin. If the baby's heartrate drops during that induction, I would have to have a C-section (worst case scenario, but hey, it happened to Joe's mom when he came into the world 17 days overdue.) So, PLEASE pray that I either go into labor on my own by May 25th or that my body takes to the Cytotec on May 25th.

Below is my good luck flower that one of Joe's 6th grade students made for me. Cutest thing ever.

40 weeks, 3 days

At this point in my pregnancy, it feels as if we are waiting in line for the most popular ride at Disneyland. In the hot sun. Without any potty breaks. Without lunch. No water.
If we strain ahead to the beginning of the line, we can see people (all of whom have been in our situation at one point or another) getting on the ride after their long wait. We can see people currently on the ride- the wind whipping their face as their bodies try to anticipate and navigate the dangerous curves ahead. Some look terrified and others look exhilarated. Some have peed their pants and others fully submit themselves to the thrilling joy of uncertainty, their hands waving over their head.

If we look to the end of the line, we see people eagerly adding the the back of it. They must be attracted to the excitement of the ride, the fact that many have gone before them and even stepped off the ride to tell about it, albeit their hands are shaking and their knees wobbly, their faces shine. They try to put to the back of their minds the horror stories of getting sick or the unnerving sense of loosing control of bodily functions mid-way through the ride. Instead, they choose to focus on the glory. They are clueless, we think as we gaze back at them, fatigued from from waiting our turn.

Joe and I are still waiting our turn (as of 10:14am on May 17). It's never going to come, I think on a daily basis. The last time anything happened to my body that was somewhat significant was 3 weeks ago. My body really started to shift around 36 weeks and there's been nothing new to report since 37 weeks. (I could get graphic here, but instead I will restrain.) The most I will declare on the internet is that, as of last Friday, I am 1cm dilated and 70% effaced...as I have been since week 37. Every visit since then, the midwife has examined me, only to report that nothing's changed since last week. This Friday, I am going in for a non-stress test. They will monitor the baby's heart rate, etc. and we will discuss the option of inducing me. I will be 40 weeks, 6 days at this point. Joe is taking the afternoon off to come with me to this appointment because I simply can't make any decisions without him by my side.

Below is a picture of me on my due date, May 14th. It came and went. The next day came and went. So did the next. It's just past 10:30 this morning and the day is young and I am feeling optimistic about today...so far.





Baby Lindquist's nursery...finally finished!











Spring has come! And with it are new pansies I planted to welcome our baby. You can see the peony plant Joe gave me for my first Mother's Day too. We still have yet to plant him.