14 weeks

Well, actually, I'm not quite 14 weeks (on Monday I will be). We kind of missed a 13 week shot last Monday. Mondays aren't really good days for us to coordinate taking a picture anyway because we are like two ships passing in the night: Joe gets home from school at 5:00 and I have to leave for class at 5:30 and from 5:00 to 5:30, we shovel in some dinner and then Joe teaches a guitar lesson at 5:30. I don't get home til almost 10pm and Joe is asleep by then. Then I usually get sucked into the week: I balance studying for A & P with working 3 days a week and doing the majority of the housework and things like that. So, sometimes this weekly blog that I promised (to all three of my blog followers) with such high hopes to post gets pushed to the back burner until we find ourselves sitting here on the couch on Saturday night watching a movie and I finally decide to blog.

We have been debating lately on whether or not we will baptize our child as a baby or wait until "they are at the age of accountability" (meaning they can cognitively recognize their need for a saving relationship with Jesus and would like to confirm this through baptism). We both were raised Lutheran; Joe was raised ELCA and I was raised LCMS. I was baptized as an infant in the Lutheran church and Joe was baptized in the Covenant church, but, as I stated before, raised Lutheran. I would like to have our child baptized as an infant and Joe says he is "in process" about the whole matter. Basically, what would the purpose be in baptizing now or later on? Last Thursday, we talked to the lead pastor of the church we are attending currently, Lighthouse Christian Center in Puyallup. Joe asked me three times whether I would like to visit with Pastor Art to discuss why Lighthouse believes what they do regarding baptism. I really wasn't that interested in going but finally consented because he really wanted to go. Ostensibly, our goal was to have him clarify why Lighthouse practices baby dedications as opposed to infant baptism. (They also practice "believer baptism" in which someone, who would like to declare their belief and faith in Jesus, gets baptized as an expression of this.) The pastor, who has his doctorate in theology, first asked why we believe in infant baptism. I informed him why: something to the effect that God initiates a relationship with us before we are even cognizant of our need for Him, just like a parent-baby relationship. Hence, infant baptism is a reflection of this. Joe, who is more on the fence in regards to this matter, said something neutral and theologically objective. (He enjoys picking people's brains just for the purpose of discussing theology objectively. I have a much harder time discussing theology objectively because my faith is so deeply ingrained in who I am.) Basically, the pastor politely listened to both of our thoughts and then proceeded to tell us not only why he believed in believer baptism but also why we, or rather I (because I was the stronger proponent for infant baptism), was wrong. Infant baptism seems to benefit the parents more than the child, he said, because it is really the parents who are initiating baptism for the child and not the child who is proclaiming faith in Jesus. But the parents are opening the door for the Holy Spirit to come in and be active in this child's life before the child can even advocate for themselves, just like Jesus was the intermediary between God and man, I said. I really got the impression that although the pastor was polite enough to listen to our opinions and reasoning, he felt their was nothing new he could learn from us, especially me, because his mind was already made up. I was wrong. WRONG. Believer baptism is the way to go, infant baptism is "not morally wrong, but still bad theology." (Neither Joe or I can make sense of that; seems as though that's a fine hair to split.)

I truly tried (and succeeded for the most part I think) in keeping my mouth shut to avoid saying something I really regretted and to listen to Pastor Art to see if their was anything worthwhile I could glean from what he had to say. It was very difficult to sit there in the pastor's office: hurt, embarrassed, and angry, and trying my hardest to keep it together while being singled out for what I believe about infant baptism.

There's still so much to write about this, but I've sketched a rough picture. We're still undecided about whether or not we'll have our child baptized as an infant. Sometimes it seems easier just to find a Lutheran church somewhere and become members because it's just like home. But the reason we started attending Lighthouse was because we are good friends with John and Gabri, who attend there, and because it's just hard to meet people close to our own age in a Lutheran church around where we live because it seems as though all the young people flock to the more charismatic, evangelical churches. If we want to get connected with people our own age, we have to go to where they are going. Sometimes it seems like too great of a leap of faith to trust God in terms of providing fellowship for us at church.

12 weeks

Today I am 12 weeks and 1 day. I figured out part of the reason why I am so tired: baby grows about 1/2 inch a week. As you can see, my belly is rounder on my lower abdomen (and it is growing firmer day by day).



I never thought I'd be so excited about my tummy getting bigger.

I am thinking ahead to the time (probably around Thanksgiving) that we'll be registering for baby things. Honestly, I have no idea (other that the obvious crib, baby carrier, high chair, and onesies) what to register for. Please advise. I only have one friend, Sondra, who is a mother. I wish she lived closer (she lives in Utah). Other than her, I have no friends or siblings who are already parents or currently expecting. Since we are not going to find out the sex of our baby, we need to get an idea of how this works in terms of registering for baby things. Do we register for unisex items or a bunch of girl items AND boy items and then take back what we do not need after his/her arrival??

ps- we never did get around to taking the 11 week pic and by the time we might have, I was about 11 weeks, 5 days... so we just let it go. I think my tummy is really going to poke out faster and faster as the weeks go by. (so I really don't think we're missing much by skipping the 11 week shot.)

Prenatal pics

Here are a few ultrasound pics.

The first one is from our initial visit with our nurse-midwife on October 18th when we found out we were further along by about 3-4 weeks than we originally thought. Baby is roughly 10 weeks.



The second is from our second "official" ultrasound, October 22nd. We determined an actual due date, May 14th. Baby is 10 weeks, 4 days.



To think that baby has grown so much even since these pictures were taken awes me.

7 weeks? scratch that....

So. It appears I am further along than I originally thought. We went to the first meeting with the nurse-midwife last Monday and, according to the nurse's estimates and measurements on the ultrasound, my uterus was measuring 11 weeks, 5 days and baby was measuring 9 weeks, 4 days. 10 weeks is the milestone to reach to be able to hear the heartbeat. And hear the heartbeat we certainly did, if only for a few seconds. We saw our baby's small figure on the ultrasound wriggling and dancing. Those pictures they give you just don't do baby any justice! We actually saw the hands and feet and head boppin' as if moving to music only he/she heard. Nevertheless, we are proud of our little lima bean, even if our child is only a blurry blob in the pictures.

Our nurse could not pin down a precise due date last Monday, so she determined that we needed a more official ultrasound. Yesterday, we went to have another one done and the image of our child on the screen was even better. Baby was in the fetal position and then stretching out and arching his/her back. We saw the blob of tissue that is baby's heart beating furiously at 165 bpm. It was determined that I am 10 weeks, 4 days along. Honestly, this is a relief because I don't feel quite as big "for only being 7 weeks" because I was actually closer to 10 weeks! Yes, I am growing and have a legitimate rounded little baby bump now. I have just noticed that my tummy is getting harder and more firm too. I will be 11 weeks on Monday and will post a new belly shot.

And, NO, we are not going to find out the sex of the baby! We are old-school like that. To us, there are few greater joys in life than hearing "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" on the day we deliver our child. Plus, I am not a big fan of overly pink or blue nurseries. We are also not going to share any names until the baby is here with us. We love surprises!

(Below is a random pic I had on my laptop. It is with my sister-in-law Heather and brother Kris from my going away party, right before I left for Washington, DC for Lutheran Volunteer Corps, August 2004.)

7 weeks

I am finding there is always so much I want to include in these posts as I reflect on them during the week. It has only been two weeks since we found out I am expecting, but considering all the looking ahead to the future we've done and how much communicating we've done with family and friends, it feels like so much longer. I am trying to listen to my body's changes while not overanalyzing fatigue, weird cravings, and just the fact that my body is REALLY going to be changing over the coming weeks. There are many days I feel like this (below):
Already, baby has doubled in size between week 6 and 7!

Last Thursday was my initial meeting with an RN to go over paperwork and a bunch of introductory things I will be anticipating in the coming months. Tomorrow, Monday, Joe and I will be meeting our nurse-midwife and she will perform the very first ultrasound!! It simply won't be real until we hear our baby's heartbeat for the first time. (I know I will be skinned alive if I don't post those first ultrasound pics on facebook!) Our other objective is to further narrow down the baby's due date. I have estimated June 3rd, but I very well could stand to be corrected. (This is due to my irregular cycle; only every 60 days as opposed to 30 for every other woman on the planet.) So at least we know I am at least 7 weeks; I could be further depending on the ultrasound.


You may have notice that I am not bearing my belly for the world to behold in my prego photos. I honestly wanted to lose quite a bit of weight before we tried for children, and I truly made a new commitment to this. I got a YMCA membership, started faithfully working out 3-4 times a week for an hour and decided to take a closer look at my diet. And then I found out I was pregnant about a month later. Honestly, one of my biggest fears is gaining more and more weight and just being as big as a house in no time. I have to say I envy women to proudly bear their 10 week prego pictures and they are flatter than I am now or was even before 7 weeks ago. Besides my husband, I don't really think the world wants to see my belly right now- let's wait until I actually do have a proud round belly to show. Today we went to the pumpkin patch with my parents who happened to be in town visiting. It was a glorious day- one of the last blue-sky days of fall- and so after church we went down to Lacey to enjoy ourselves. (I forgot to bring my camera!) Joe and I bought 3 pumpkins to represent our growing little family.

Right now, Leo will have to suffice in terms of our little one we baby. Happy Halloween!

6 weeks

Dear Santa Claus, all I want for Christmas is a nice camera. Our poor little Nikon got run over by Joe's Taurus last spring- it miraculously still works- and ever since then, we have to guess when we take photos because about half the screen is cracked/blacked out. Despite the dilapidated state of our camera, it's taken, at BEST, some decent photos. Since we have a little one on the way, it's really time for a camera that takes some GOOD photos. Love, Katy

Today I am 6 weeks plus 2 days. My friend Gabri took the picture below of me after we had our coffee date at Old Town Starbucks in Tacoma.



I've been feeling fatigued and the weird prego cravings have been gnawing away at me lately. On the way to coffee with Gabri, a craving hit me suddenly and I had to have Jack in the Box RIGHT AWAY. I sheepishly texted Gabri in the drive thru where I was and why I was going to be late. And oooh boy, those two crunchy tacos were worth it. Of course, I apologized to her and she laughed.

These days, I am deliberating between how much I can work and how much I really should be working in light of my schoolwork and my pregnancy. I have class 4 hours a night on Mondays and Wednesdays and, honestly, between feeling nauseous and needing more sleep than ever, I don't feel very motivated to study. I feel as if I have too much time on my hands if I don't work. I get bored and lonely if I don't work at least a couple of shifts a week just to break things up. I just really did not want to study especially the first week we learned we were expecting. As if I were going to have this child the next week, I only wanted to start nesting for my baby and sleep all the time to prepare for their arrival. Alas, soon the reality of Anatomy & Physiology, the necessity to work some to help with bills, and the needs of my husband gradually sunk in and I disciplined myself to abide by my daily grind. Despite these efforts, my body's changes and new needs sometimes win out. This morning, we wanted to go 9:45 church. When Joe woke me up at 8am, I was too exhausted to get up. I tossed and turned all the previous night and finally fell asleep about an hour before Joe woke me. Needless to say, I stayed home from church and slept until noon. I don't like sleeping until noon but I know that my body needs more rest than usual. I just hope I can balance all these things in the months to come.

We have new prayer requests:
-that our anxieties of provision and fears of our own inadequacies of parenting would be met with Peace
-that my physical symptoms during this stage of the pregnancy would not hinder my schoolwork or other things I need to accomplish on a daily basis
-that we would be blessed with more lessons for Joe to teach if not another part time job for him in the coming months

So many more prayer requests that go through my head throughout the day...will update soon.

In Joyful Expectation...

Perhaps I should revise my blog post "My little family" I made earlier this month. Because...

We are expecting a baby! I am due about the end of May, beginning of June. I calculated June 3rd, but we'll see what baby has to say about that. My first ultrasound is October 18th, and that's when we will hear the heartbeat for the first time. It will finally hit home that WE'RE HAVING A BABY. Right now, it doesn't seem real at all, other than my almost chronic upset tummy and the fact that I threw up my breakfast in the YMCA parking lot this morning because I accidentally took my pre-vital vitamin on an empty stomach. Read on to learn the whole story...

About a week into September, I began to have that sinking feeling that something was different and over the next two weeks, it was definitely on my heart and mind that I might, kinda, sorta could be pregnant for a fact. I can't say exactly how I felt; it was more of a feeling that my body was shifting and changing in ways I cannot put my finger on. No morning sickness. (Yet). I tried to ignore these suspicions all month long, but on Monday, Sept 27th, as I was reading about the human cell for my Anatomy & Physiology class (a tad ironic...), my curiosity got the better of me. I put down my book and got up and drove to the grocery store where I bought a 3 pack of tests. ( I wanted to be good and darn sure.) Lo and behold, they all came up positive. I watched in disbelief as it was confirmed three times before my eyes that yes, I was going to be a mother and that we were going to be parents.

Needless to say, I couldn't concentrate on anything else for the rest of the afternoon. By this time, it was about 12:30, and I realized that Joe wasn't done with the school day until 2pm. Nevertheless, I tried to text and call him in vain, frantic attempts to let him know what was happening. In between the calls and texts, I began voraciously housecleaning in an effort to kill time. We were going to the wedding of Mark and Merissa that afternoon anyway, so I knew it wouldn't be long before I saw him. Shortly before the ceremony started at 3pm, I showed him the three positive pregnancy tests. Bless him, he didn't know what they were when he saw them. I said, "Honey, these are three positive pregnancy tests." (Now, Joe has been wanting a baby longer than I have and he actually couldn't believe that I was giving him the best news he'd ever heard.) Below is a picture of us right before the ceremony and after I told him the exciting news.



During the ceremony, I cried for joy for not only Mark and Merissa Marr (the sweetest couple) but also because my cup runneth over! How sweet it was to tell my husband our newest adventure and then witness a couple so in love with each other and the Lord exchange vows. We've had quite the roll coaster ride the three years we've been married. Watching other couples get married is one of the sweetest joys because the couple really has no idea what they're actually vowing to each other (yet) and what it means to uphold I Corinthians 13 in a marriage day in and day out. Below is from the wedding.





Despite my initial excitement, I didn't want to get my hopes up to high before I actually had an official test done at Group Health. I didn't want to go by myself, so Joe met me the next day at 4pm after school. We weren't waiting but 90 seconds after the test was done when the lab assistant greeted us with the piece of paper that sealed our fates. Another positive test. (I have to admit, even after 4 tests, it really doesn't seem real yet.) We decided to call Joe's parents first because they live in Fargo. (His mother screamed with joy and his dad said in his understated way, "Well, that is big news.") My parents have wanted this so badly for so long, they finally released the anticipation they've held inside for so long.
We've spend several hours this week calling our family and friends to let know.

The best part of the whole experience is people's genuine reactions and excitement for us because NO ONE WAS EXPECTING THIS. It's a total surprise and shock to everyone. Including us. We were really trying but we weren't really not trying. We didn't tell anyone this so nobody expected any news any time soon. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I love surprises and I love surprising people. Absolutely priceless. There is so much I could write, but I will save it for later... Here is the first prego shot at 5 weeks to close with.